Since death often comes unexpectedly, it can mean that the person who passed away has left behind unresolved conflicts. After all, sometimes disputes inevitably occur, and there's not always a way to take back a wrong word or an action that causes great harm to someone you love. If you still hold anger towards someone that hurt your loved one, you may not want the offender attending your loved one's funeral. Here's what you should do if you want to make sure someone does not attend the funeral service.
Take Action As Soon As Possible
While it may seem like the best course of action to take is none at all, that is not a good idea. Unless you are absolutely certain that the person would not show up, take action to prevent it. Ignoring the situation may result in uncomfortable confrontations on the day of the funeral itself, which would just make a painful time all the more difficult for everyone involved.
When you start to make funeral arrangements for your loved one, you or someone close to you should contact the person who is not welcome at the funeral. Inform the person of the loved one's death and briefly explain why their presence is not welcome at the funeral.
Offer Other Solutions
If the person who is not welcome at the funeral is apologetic, you may choose to accept the apology, but you do not have to do so. Likewise, you are not obligated to offer alternative solutions for them to express their grief, but you may want to do so as a way of reaching out in kindness. Some other ways that you may suggest that they honor your loved one without attending the funeral may include:
- Visiting the grave at a later date when it would not be upsetting to family members.
- Making a donation in honor of the loved one to a charity that the deceased supported.
- Doing something that the loved one would have enjoyed in memory of them.
When it comes to being unwelcome at the funeral, most people would respect the wishes of those who were closest to the deceased. However, there is always the possibility that the person will show up at the funeral anyway. If you are certain that you do not want to allow someone to attend the funeral service, be sure to let a few people know about the situation so they can be on guard. If possible, have a couple of friends who want to help keep an eye out for the person so that they block their entrance if they do show up.
Finally, keep in mind that you are allowed to grieve in any way that comes naturally to you. The loss of a loved one does not mean that you have to make amends with those who hurt the one you love. It's okay to set boundaries and bar people from attending the funeral. Funeral arrangements are made to honor the deceased and also to provide a comfort for those who remain behind.
For more information, contact local professionals like Maddox Funeral Home, Inc.